3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize