your thong is hanging out like whoa
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
