How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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