I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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