I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
