I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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