I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
