Your mouth is God's brothel.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
