Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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