That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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