"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
