Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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