I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Who died my cat blue again?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize