how can u be prego again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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