we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
