so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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