Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize