Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
