you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
