you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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