I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That's how pantless uber rides happen
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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