So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ttyl tear gas
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
