so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize