I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
