I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
