If i come over, it means nothing
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
