those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
