i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
