im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
