I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
