We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
