Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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