I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
