GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
