kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
