dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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