there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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