She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
nutella sex= disaster
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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