Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
