It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
