Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
