He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
