dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
