i just google imaged poop.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
