do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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