So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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