you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize