party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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