Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
