I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
