Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
