I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
