You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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