Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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