Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
