i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
